Flapjack Gulp

Book #16: Spellmans Strike Again


Spellmans Strike Again by Lisa Lutz

Quote: Phone call from the edge #28
Morty: What's new, Izzele?
Me: If I told you, you wouldn't believe me.
Morty: Never stopped you before.
Me: I wouldn't know where to begin.
Morty: It's true. You tell stories funny. You always start in the middle.
Me: Here's a headline: Rae committed a felony and might actually have to do time in a juvenile facility.

I KNOW I bookmarked a great quote but it has gone missing so you get a snippet from the first page again. Also, I love Morty.

I still love these books but I'm a little disappointed Isabel let Henry off so easy after he rebuffed her last book for not being a grown up. And while her actor friend taking his "deep cover" assignment as a butler a little too seriously was funny, her cases this book were kind of boring. And I hated the whole bit about Mrs. Spellman not liking her bf Connor (and knew he was cheating on her but didn't tell her) so she blackmailed Isabel into going on "dates" with lawyers. It was obnoxious.

Did I mention I love Morty? Well, I do. And since this book is a comedy I didn't expect it to make me cry. At least his cancer made his wife let them come back from the edge (Miami) and hang with Isabel a few last times!

Book #17: Trickster's Queen


Trickster's Queen by Tamora Pierce

Quote: "Well, I have good news and better news," she told them. "The good news is that Topabaw has a spy in this household." As they stiffened she quickly added, "The better news is that it's me."

It was so much easier to get into this sequel than it was the first book. Rebellion, intrigue, deception, cute little magical beings that help Aly spy! Nawat was mainly absent in this one as he left to help the rebellions on the other island so he could become his own person and came back all manly and such. I love cute confused crow/man Nawat but that's ok, he had to develop eventually.

Aly proved herself a capable spy master. And while I knew that she would end up staying with her new family, I'm a little disappointed. Her whole motivation was to get home but she didn't want to leave these people with a mess. Then she cleaned up the mess and decides that she's going to stay anyway. Whateves, didn't really love that.
Ballgown Fight

Book #18: Princess of Glass


Princess of Glass by Jessica Day George

Quote: "But why are you so filthy? Did Mrs. Hanks tell you to clean out all the chimneys in the middle of the night?"
Ellen's tears dried as if by magic, and a sly, closed look came over her face. "Just trying to do my duty," she said stiffly.

I really liked Princess of the Midnight Ball, a retelling of The Twelve Dancing Princesses (my fav) so I thought I'd give this retelling of Cinderella a chance. Pretty simple reading, which I enjoy about it! And there's some continuation of the last book which I didn't think was going to happen. I'm not personally fond of Ellen (the Cinderella character) and her random mood swings and motivations but since it was mostly Poppy's (one of the twelve dancing princesses) story of trying to figure out what was going on in this strange kingdom, I didn't mind it too much.
Merlin Disapproves

Book #19: Tinker (Elfhome, Book 1)


Tinker (Elfhome, Book 1) by Wen Spencer

No quote cause I have misplaced the book and just want to move on. Tinker is the story of a girl genius(Tinker) who lives in Pittsburgh. A Pittsburgh that bounces between Earth and a planet (?) called Elfhome. She's (a bio engineered) human until she sleeps with an elf who uses magic and his sperm to turn her into an elf as well. Yup. That happens. She's super smart so people are after her to create more portals that will transfer them between worlds. Or something. I wasn't very happy with this book after the transformation sex so I will admit to checking out after that. There's also a lot of instances where male characters are really pushy and rape-y scenarios. It was not a fun book at all.

Book #20: Oracles of Delphi Keep


Oracles of Delphi Keep by Victoria Laurie

Quote: "Legend has it that Laodamia was able to foretell future events so accurately that her word was undisputed. Her powers were said to have been miraculous; she was credited with healing the sick, predicting the outcome of any Greek campaign, and moving objects without touching them, and her ability to predict incoming storms and yearly rainfall was uncanny."

A fun adventure story about children from a prophecy questing to rid the world of an evil God and his four horseman-esque children in Europe on the cusp of WWII (Hitler is part of the evil things plans). These kids aren't stupid so that makes me happy.
Stormy skies

Book #21: The Empty Mile


The Empty Mile by Matthew Stokoe

Quote: He nestled against his pillow and for a moment I saw him as a young boy again and was freshly overcome with a sense of loss for all the time that had passed while we were not together.

Sometimes I like to read things that are depressingly domestic. I thought this one was something like that, man returns to his small hometown after finding himself abroad and deals with the dysfunction he's left behind. This one takes the dysfunction to a new level with an old gf-turned prostitute, then she's no longer a prostitute but the guy she was seeing before Johnny (johnny's best friend) blackmails her into doing odd prostituting jobs, a revenge plot against Johnny and his family for causing someone to die even though he didn't, a special needs brother, murder, and the history of the Gold Rush and the possibility of undiscovered gold in a plot of land called The Empty Mile.

It was a lot. Not bad though but probably not a book I'd return to unless I want to be horrified and depressed.

Book #22: Agnes and the Hitman


Agnes and the Hitman by Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer

Quote: cranky agnes column #62
"Just Like Mother Used to Fake"
Many of us have a recipe passed down to us by our own mothers that pretty much sums up our childhood memories in an ingredient list. In my case, it was "One chilled glass, two parts Tanqueray, wave at the vermouth bottle, stir clockwise if you're north of the equator, and for God's sake, Agnes, don't bruise the gin." Yours was probably a can of cream of mushroom soup poured over a can of green beans. That mother who made baked Alaska from scratch? She also screamed, "No wire hangers!" Those overachievers always have a dark side.

These little blurbs from Cranky Agnes' columns on each of the chapter pages are delightful. I also really enjoyed the mob intrigue but for most part it was just a lot of chaos to prop up Agnes and the Hitman falling for each other in like 2 days and having sex a lot. I...don't know why I don't read reviews/blurbs properly, I could probably prevent this stuff from happening more. Luckily, I have seen too much and poorly written love scenes are the least of the horrors.

Book #24 & 23: Curse of the Spellmans, Revenge of the Spellmans


Curse of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz

Revenge of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz

Quote: "First of all, Rae, you keep that to yourself or I will make your life a living hell. And second of all, sometimes things don't work out the way you want them to."

"I don't know about that. Things usually work out exactly the way I want them to," Rae said with more conviction than you could possibly imagine.

I love these books so much, they really don't deserve condensed reviews but 1. I'm behind again and have like 6ish books to review and 2. I love these books so much, I don't know how to express myself. I am much more comfortable when I can rant about things I hate, I guess!

In Curse, Izzy is obsessed with her family's neighbor and gets herself arrested multiple times for various attempts at discovering his secrets (breaking and entering, violating a restraining order, etc). It's crazy and wonderful.

In Revenge, Izzy is taking a break from the family business and must deal with court-ordered therapy (it's very hard on her), secretly living in her brother's basement and figuring out why he's been acting so weird, and Rae being Rae.

Book #25: The King of Attolia


The King of Attolia by Megan Whalen Turner

Quote: Costis closed his eyes in shame. All the events of the day, which had been so nightmarish and unreal, were terribly, terribly true, the mark beside the king's mouth unmistakable, and incontrovertible, every knuckle of Costis's fist indelibly represented there.

Eugenides said, "You did swear less than two months ago to defend my self and my throne with your life- didn't you?"

He'd gone down like a rag doll.

I love clever books. It's hard to explain but they're the books that inspire me the most. Eugenides has pretty much tricked me every book so far. I was really really fooled by the way he was acting in this one. I questioned it, because it was so weird, but the narrative gave reasons and I ultimately let myself accept it. And then his plans were revealed and it's awesome.

Poor Costis, though. He was such a pawn.
VampireBill disapproves

Book #26: Dead Reckoning (Sookie Stackhouse, Book 11)


Dead Reckoning (Sookie Stackhouse, Book 11) by Charlaine Harris

Quote: The ice pack had done all the good it was going to, and I removed it from my yahoo palace and put it on the table.

YAHOO PALACE YOU GUYS. I don't know what happened to these books. They were fun and I enjoyed the mysteries but now I can barely get through it at all. And then she has to throw yahoo palace at me. Also having to put an ice pack on your vagina after sex. It's just too much. I can't deal with it. It took me like 2 years to read another one of these (I think I didn't even read number 10.) and now I'm pretty sure I won't be reading the last two, whenever they come out. They've really lost focus.